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The 'anti new year resolutions' perspective

kbmindfulcoaching

Updated: Jul 18, 2023

Have you seen more discussions or posts against new year's resolutions than in favour? There may be some good reasons why...


A woman thinking of traditional new year resolutions like lose weight, drink more water etc. then also thinking these are boring and uninspiring goals to have!

Resolutions was a topic of discussion in one of my lovely networking groups this week. Someone commented that there seemed to be a large number of 'anti-resolution' posts this year and we talked about our thoughts on this.

Why have new year's resolutions anyway?

I've already briefly shared some of my views on the subject of resolutions when I asked if resolutions were 'friend or foe', but our conversation gave some extra insights I thought I'd share because I imagine quite a few people may feel similarly. 😖 What we didn't like about them: 👎 'New year, new you'

In a word, bleurgh! Trite, idealised, and could imply you were a frumpy caterpillar last year, but this year you'll be that sleek butterfly 🙄. Except we don't have a chrysalis to make that happen!


Radical change takes time, patience, repetition and steps on the way. Phrases like 'new year, new you' I think can easily give rise to a great deal of disillusionment, frustration and disappointment.


👎 'Start as you mean to go on'

Not really inspiring is it? Sounds like a chore, obligation and lots of pressure to keep going come what may.


👎 'It's the perfect time to review your intentions'

Is it?! It might be, it might not be. Arbitrary goals are unlikely to go far. 😊 What we did like about them: 👍 If a new year is a time you like to try something new, or encourage yourself to do something differently, then that's great.


You might even love what you try and it becomes a new habit (in time!). But if that time to start isn't now, then that's fine. Maybe it's in spring, or in autumn, or whenever you like!


👍 Doing them with kindness, not pressure and obligation to 'do or be better' somehow. I think this is a big one, and as coaches we don't do what we do because people need 'fixing' in some way. No, no and no again!


👍Breaking the inertia or starting slowly. It's not all about big audacious goals that seem a long way off.


Setting something wildly ambitious is fine, but so is something small, or less tangible. A good friend of mine has set an 'intention' to be kinder to herself this year. And whilst you may think 'pfft, that sounds very woolly', is it any less of a worthy intention than anything else? As long as she knows what that means, what it looks like, and how she may work towards that intention, that's all that matters.


What are your views on new year's resolutions?

I've still not set many 'goals' totally clearly yet... and I'm ok with that.


For now, I have a sense of direction and purpose, just a couple of 'would really like to do this year ambitions' and I'm working on the rest.


And if you want the same, but are finding that tough, or one of the points above made sense to you and you'd like to work towards that, please get in touch as I'd love to see if I can help.

You can book in a slot on my clarity consultation page - let's talk!

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