How to reset and refocus – at any time of year

I appreciate this blog is coming out in January, but it really is something to consider and use at any time of year, not just because the current month happens to be one traditionally associated with ‘new beginnings’ / resolutions and so on.

When to reset and refocus

Whilst we may be tempted to set new year resolutions at the start of a calendar year, chances are that for many of us they are already starting to wane as I write this in mid-Jan – allegedly 80% of resolutions fail by February!

Surely what we actually need is to really understand what we want and be able to commit and stick to it. And this is what this blog is designed to help you unpick, and of course it applies at any time of year. Whenever you need to reset and refocus, give this blog a re-read!

A meaningful reset: reflect, reconnect and refocus

It’s not just because I like words beginning with ‘r’ I promise! But getting somewhere new / achieving something we haven’t yet managed or really appreciating what we want for ourselves often benefits from starting with a clear understanding of current reality.

So whatever month you are in, I encourage you to consider an honest reflection on the past 6-12 months (I use my photo reel on my phone as a helpful prompt), and you can consider any of the following questions:

·        What have been the highlights (and what made them so?)

·        What have been the challenges (and what made them so?)

·    What did you learn about yourself from those highlights (and even more so the challenges?)

·        How did you respond to those events – is there a time when you wish you had (been able to) respond differently?

This simple exercise gives you a helpful reflection of current reality –  and probably a more balanced view than if you skipped it altogether.

6 key life elements

In my opinion, we all have at least 6 key life ‘elements’ or ‘ingredients’ that are important to us, that shape us, are what we pay attention to, essentially what makes you … you.

These are:

·        Your values

·        Your beliefs

·        Your skills, strengths and interests

·        Your energy and preferences

·        Your wellbeing

·        Your circumstances

Cumulatively, these things make up your life experience, both in terms of what has already passed, but also in terms of what is to come.

So the good news is we can influence what is to come with understanding and development in these 6 areas. This is precisely what I support my clients with as a life coach whether we are talking about work life or home life, or a bit of both.

Values is quite a big topic, I have written a blog about this before which you can access here and if you want to try a fairly simple list-based exercise to (re) discover what yours are, then please drop me an email and I can send the one I have to you: kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com.

Another approach is to reflect on key moments in your life to date and consider,  in the positive ones, what was present? In the negative ones, what was missing?

What beliefs do I have and are they helpful?

Our beliefs are what we hold to be true, even if they may not be totally accurate; they are our way of making sense of the world and our place in it. But it might be worth checking - what beliefs have you been operating from, and do they still serve you?

That’s quite a big question, so to break it down a bit further, maybe consider:

• What do you believe you’re “meant” to be doing (being / having)?

  What internal stories are shaping your direction — and are they still true or helpful?

  
  

• Have you been holding onto “shoulds” that no longer serve you?

  What beliefs about success, productivity, or purpose feel heavy or inherited?

  
  

• Where have you surprised yourself in the previous 6-12 months?

  What does that reveal about a belief you can expand or rewrite?

  
  

• If you could rewrite one unhelpful belief you’ve carried into this year, what would it be?

• What is true about you that no outcome or result can take away?

Working with your energy and preferences 

By this I mean ‘how you tick’!

Understanding how we work best is vital to help us with sustainable progress. Although there are very likely some things in our days or weeks that we can’t influence the timings of, there will be some that we can do something about.

Consider the following:

• When do you naturally feel focused in a typical day/week?

  
  

• When do you naturally feel drained in a typical day/week?

  
  

• What kind of work or task gives you energy? What drains it?

  
  

• Is your week put together with this in mind (where you can help it), or is a shift needed – or at least worth trying?

Wellbeing refocus

This is another big category that deserves probably more than one blog just on its own merit as it encompasses so much, e.g. not just self-care but also things like our boundaries and saying no.  

But as a starter for ten I highly recommend a quick read of this blog on the 7 types of rest, including a link to the 10-min TEDx talk that inspired it. Who knew there were 7 types of rest?! It explains why even after traditional physical rest, like sleep, we can still feel drained as we may have other ‘rest deficits’.

It’s easy to overlook or downplay our wellbeing, but it really is important to prioritise it too - in whatever ways we can manage. It underpins most aspects of functional (let alone fulfilling) living.

That’s a lot to process…!

 I know this blog has covered a lot of ground, but at the same time has barely scratched the surface!

Whichever questions I’ve asked in this blog that you may be drawn to, it’s honesty that matters way more than the timing of when you might do them. Just doing that will give you a starting point, something to acknowledge, to adjust, to build on.

Coaching can support you further with all of the above (and more!) without pressure or performance; you don’t need to worry about what you might say or think being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ because your thoughts are personal and meaningful to you.  

The role of a coach like me is to ask questions to help you find the best answers for you, to help keep you accountable (with kindness -  there is no ‘behind’, there can always be progress!), to support you turn thinking into brave action and to be there when your motivation is lacking or your mojo has gone awol!

If you’d like to know more about the coaching support I offer, please don’t hesitate to book in for a no-obligation chat here.