Rewind a few years and my life looked very different! Chances are for many of us that is true, although it’s when we tend to focus on the big changes like marriage / separation or a new relationship, becoming a parent, switching jobs and moving homes that we really notice these changes.
I had a role in HR that I loved, I worked with fantastic colleagues (whom I remain very grateful for), and commuted to work via Southeastern rail into London Victoria along with gazillions of other London commuters.
This had been my norm for quite a few years, but something significant had already shifted now that I had become a mum. The challenges of being a mum and juggling many things including returning to work are well-documented these days thanks to organisations like ‘Pregnant then Screwed’ and writers like the ‘Unmumsy Mum’. But interrupted sleep and the astronomical cost of childcare aside, my experience of returning to work was a positive one, thanks to a supportive employer that agreed to my flexible working request and those excellent colleagues I mentioned. It was me who had changed. Yes, obviously I had become a mum and had a new role in my life and responsibilities, but it was more than that.
It wasn’t an ‘overnight switch’ scenario, although the circumstances by which I became a mum definitely had a big part in it. I’d had the first trimester morning sickness (grim, and not limited to mornings!), enjoyed the second trimester of feeling ok and having a proper baby bump and was in the third trimester when the wheels came off a bit unexpectedly.
I was due in mid-September, but in July, after a routine GP pregnancy check-up appointment I was sent to hospital. I had little idea at the time that I’d stay in there for 10 days until my girl had to arrive by early c-section due to my severe pre-eclampsia, and that I’d be even more unwell afterwards and we’d both remain in hospital for a while.
At the time, I just ‘lived through it’, there wasn’t time to think about it and it wasn’t like I had a choice anyway. I think it hit me harder afterwards, as I think it does for so many mums who have a difficult birth experience. The reason I’m sharing this is because it was part of a big wake up call for me about what really matters. It’s not a question we often take time to consider, we just go about the bustle of our lives and carry on. The last couple of years with Covid I think has also had a similar impact on people, like a scenario with a significant impact on you forces you to reflect when you may not be used to doing so.
How does life coaching help?
It meant that I returned to work with a very different mindset and things that used to bother me really didn’t anymore. I still enjoyed HR and my role, but later still, I was thinking ‘is this it forever for me now?’ and I knew I didn’t want the answer to be yes. Fortunately for me, it was around this time that I discovered coaching in the form that I now know and practise, and it was the start of big changes for me and my family.
When I experienced coaching myself, I realised how powerful it could be. It sounded so simple, but as if often the case, simple things actually work! I credit the coaching I had for helping me to take the plunge and commit to the big changes that had been lurking in the background of my mind coming straight to the fore and becoming a priority! I researched and retrained as a coach even though after doing my level 7 CIPD I swore I wouldn’t be doing another qualification! This one felt entirely different though – one I was meant to be doing, and a year later, I qualified. When I practised coaching, it felt like I was able to do something I felt entirely connected to and taking all the good parts of my experience to date with me.
As a family, we put the wheels in motion to leave London and move to Devon, looking at ‘in-year’ transfers for schools and admission processes and so on. We knew it wouldn’t necessarily be easy but we were all in now! This was in 2019... and we all know what came next! 2020 and the pandemic really did throw a spanner in the works of our plans and slow our move down considerably. Although ironically it is something I am grateful for as we now live in a different area of Devon (and love it) than we originally intended. I think it was meant to be this way.
This isn’t a ‘coaching solves everything’ fairytale story, but a very real story of my own experience of it and the impact it has had for the better in my life.
I’m a big believer in life chapters, and starting to write a new one when the time is right. They don’t always have to involve major shifts either, but they may do. The key thing is you do get to write it, it’s not predetermined, no matter what has passed to date or what age you are.
If you are curious to know more and want to write your next chapter differently, please do book in a no-obligation chat with me here: www.kbmindfulcoaching.com/clarity-consultation
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