A client’s session has inspired this week’s blog.
She had been reluctant to let something go for a little while, but it was sitting less and less comfortably with her.
Sometimes we can’t quite pinpoint why straight away, so we continue ‘holding on’ without realising that is what we are doing, holding on when maybe the better (but possibly harder) response is to let go.
Why is it hard to let go sometimes?
We feel comfort with what we know (‘better the devil you know’ – as my neighbour said to me the other day about our slightly noisier neighbour!). It’s familiar and we know what to expect so generally speaking there aren’t unwelcome surprises (my noisier neighbour talks like Dom Joly on his massive mobile phone from Trigger Happy. When he answers the phone, and we are both in our gardens, I know what to expect!). We might question ourselves and think, is letting go a failure on my part? What does letting go say about me? What will other people think of me and am I letting them down if I let this go?
I’d bet that at least some of those ring true! But underneath all of those reasons, the thing we're holding on to just doesn't feel right anymore, and it might be the time to say goodbye (or if it's not quite a 'ditch', maybe it's a 'switch'!)
Back to the client session, about two thirds in, she announced quite decisively that she was letting this particular thing go. I could detect relief from this decision, and we used some of the session to discuss what the letting go might look like (sometimes it’s an outright release, other times it might be by degrees, or in part – whichever way the letting go is right for you and your situation is key).
After the session, I realised I had been doing exactly the same as my client with something in my life too! Obviously, the ‘thing’ and our circumstances were completely different, but the ‘holding on’ was definitely there. I was inspired to be bold and let it go too.
I think we both feel lighter now, I know for sure that I do. Longer term, I am confident I would have reached the same conclusion that I have done now, only my holding on for longer would have created heightened discomfort.
So I’d encourage you to have a think - is there something you are holding on to rather than letting go? Is it serving you to keep holding on?
Are you holding on (versus letting go)?
Just looking at those two actions written down – ‘holding on’ versus ‘letting go’ and you can see a difference in the energy that goes with them. You aren’t flawed for holding on - the truth is we all can hold on to things (tangible things as well as beliefs) for longer than is perhaps good for us. And it can take as much courage to acknowledge this holding on tendency and act on it as it does to throw yourself into something new, challenging and unfamilar. It’s just we can easily give new things and challenges more of our attention and thinking capacity rather than considering the things that are already there and how they are working for us (or not!). Working with a life coach is as much about letting go of what we need to as it is pursuing what we want for ourselves. If you're curious and know you'd like to create space for more of what you would like in your life, for you, please do get in touch and we can see if we are a good match - kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com
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